Tare Da: Dr. Salihu Lukman

Gabatarwa

Shin ko kai mai tsananin fushi ne da saurin hasala (short fuse)? Ko kuwa kana da bala’in kishin da yake hana ka sukuni ko kuwa yake kawo maka husuma tsakanin ka iyalin ka? Ko kuwa ana siffanta yanda ka ke maida martani idan an tsokano ka da cewa kana qirqiran dutse ne babba daga tudun tawadar Allah (make a mountain out of mole-hill) wato kana maida martani da abin da ya ninninka tsokanan da akayi ma (disproportionate reaction)? Ko kuwa kana da kishi irin wanda ko namijin quda ba ka so ya sauka a kan matan ka, ko kuma macen da ke sa mijin ta sai ya saka takunkumin fuska (Face Mask) idan zai fita waje saboda kada wasu matan su ganshi? Ire-iren wadannan alamomin da ma wasu da dama zan tattauna a cikin wannan rubutun.

Me Ake Nufi Da Personality Disorders (PDs)?

Kaman yanda na yi bayani a baya cewa Mental Disorder yana nufin tattaruwan wasu alamomi wadanda suke iya jirkitar da yanayin da mutum yake tsinkayan abubuwa da kuma yanda ya ke tunani  da mu’amala da mutane. Irin wadannan alamomin suna saka mutum ya shiga cikin matsanancin damuwa (subjective distress) sannan kuma suna janyo matsala ko naqasa (impairment) a game da yanda mutum yake mu’amala da iyalin shi ko ‘yan’uwan shi (wato a gida), da abokan aikin shi ko kuma abokan karantun shi (pervasive). Irin wadannan alamomin za su iya jimawa mutum yana fuskantan su (persistent), ko kuma a wani lokaci sai su zo gadan-gadan kaman saukan ruwan sama (relapse) daga baya kuma sai su yi likimo kaman anyi ruwan an dauke (remission).

Ka tuntubi wannan rubutun nawa domin qarin bayani akan mental Disorders:

https://salihulukman.com/menene-mental-health-da-kuma-mental-disorders-tare-da-jiga-jigan-misalai/

Wadannan Mental Disorders din sun kasu gida-gida kaman Mood Disorders (mun yi bayanin wasu daga cikin su a baya – Depression da Bipolar), Anxiety Disorders (kaman su Phobias – tsananin jin tsoron wani abu kaman magye, ko qadangare), Sleep-Wake Disorders, Sexual Dysfunctions, Schizophrenia Spectrum, Paraphilic Disorders (kaman ‘yan daudu, da ‘yan luwadi ko madigo [daga baya turawa sun cire homosexuality da lesbianism daga cikin Mental Disorders saboda makirci], da masu kwanciya da ‘yan yara), Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders (OCDs), Personality Disorders, da dai sauran su.

Daga duk wadannan gida-gidan na Mental Disorders dinnan, Personality Disorder (PD) yana cikin wadanda suka fi wuyan sha’ani kuma suke da matuqar wahalarwa – su wahalar da mai dauke da su sannan kuma su wahalar da wanda yake mu’amala da mai dauke da su. Personality Disorders sun karkasu kashi 10 amma ana tsara su a gida 3 wato Cluster A (Paranoid, Schizoid, Schizotypal PDs), Cluster B (Histrionic, Borderline, Narcissistic, Anti-social PDs) da Cluster C (Avoidant, Dependent, Obsessive-Compulsive PDs). Kusan dukkanin su, suna dauke da wasu dabi’u da halayyan da suka saba ma al’ada sannan kuma wadannan kausasan halin dole ya kasance mutum yana tare da su ne tun sanda ya zama dan saurayi wato adolescent kaman dan shekara 13-19 har izuwa sanda zai mallaki hankalin kansa wato Adult wanda yake kamawa daga shekara 18 ko kuma 21. Mu fahimci cewa balaga (Puberty – yana faruwa a shekara 10 – 13) daban yake da zama Adult. Yawancin lokuta, Personality Disorder yana tabbatuwa ne ga dan’Adam daga shekara 21 zuwa 25 kaman yanda Dr. Ramani Durvasula ta fada.

Yaya Ake Gane Borderline Personality Disorder?

A yau za mu tattauna ne akan Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), yana daga cikin Cluster B Personality Disorders, kuma a duk Mental Disorders rankatakaf din su babu wanda aka fi yin nazari akan shi irin BPD kuma yana daya cikin wadanda suka fi rikitarwa. Ga wasu daga cikin alamomin shi.

1. Tsananin qoqarin gujema rabuwa (fear of abandonment, separation or rejection). Wannan yana daya daga cikin manya-manyan matsalan mai BPD a inda zai dunga hassala idan kaman ace ya kira matan sa amma sai bata sami daman daukan wayan shi ba a lokacin da ya kira.
2. Tabbatar da alaqa mai tsananin shaquwa a tsakanin shi da sauran mutane ko wanda yake so amma kuma wannan alaqan sai ta kasance mara tabbas saboda zata iya canzawa nan da nan daga shaquwa zuwa mummuna (idealization and devaluation, splitting, black and white thought, zero or hero).
3. Rashin tabbatuwa a abin da mutum ya saka a gaba ko ya qudurce a ran shi (unstable self-image or identity disturbance). A irin wannan yanayin, mutum sai ya kasance ba shi da tabbatuwa a abin da yake so ya cimma buri a rayuwarsa, sai ya dunga saurin cancanza aikin da ya ke son yi, ko ra’ayin shi akan abubuwan da ya tabbatu akai a baya. Wani zai iya canza abokan shi, ko kuma ma jinsin shi gabadaya ko yin ridda ko kuma ya ce babu Allah gabadaya (Atheist) ko kuma ya samu shakka kan akwai Allah ko kuwa babu shi (Agnostic) bayan a baya ya yi imani da Allah sosai kuma mai bin addini ne.
4. Yin aikin bazata wadanda za su iya cutar da mutum a aqalla wurare 2: caca, kashe-kashen kudi ta hanyar almubazzaranci, cin abinci da ya wuce qima, shaye-shayen kwaya, tuqin ganganci, ko kuma saduwan da babu aminci ko neman mata (impulsivity).
5. Yawan yunqurin kashe kan ka, ko nuna alamun haka ko kuma yin barazanan kashe kai ko jin ma kan ka ciwo ta hanyar yanka kan ka ko qona kan ka (recurrent suicidality).
6. Saurin jin fushi ko damuwa ko qaruwan buqun zuciya saboda wani abu da ya faru a tsakanin shi da sauran mutane. Irin wannan yanayi yana iya jimawa har ‘yan wasu awanni kadan ko kuma kwanaki kadan (affective instability).
7. Jin qiwuyan yin duk wani abu da zai amfane ka ko zai taimaka maka wajen cin ma burin ka na rayuwa tare da rashin jin sha’awan aikata komai sannan kuma sai ka yi ta neman abin da zakayi (chronic feelings of emptiness). Ga shi kana da abubuwan yi da yawa kuma kana da lokacin yin su amma kuma kash, ba ka jin sha’awan aikata su kwata-kwata sai ka dunga jin matsanancin qiyuwa.
8. Nuna bala’in fushin da ya wuce qima a bainar jama’a (short fuse & over-reactive) sannan kuma tare da rashin iya sarrafa fushi matuqar aka tsokano ka ko dan ya ya ne kuwa (inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger). Mutum zai ta habaici ko barin zance ko fade-fade matuqar ya qudurci cewa ba a kula da shi yanda ya kamata ko kuma ana so a rabu da shi. Amma kuma daga baya sai mutum ya ji kunyar abinda ya aikata tare da nadama. Mutum har doke-doke yana iya yi a wani lokuta saboda tsaban bacin rai. Duk wadannan alamomin suna faruwa a sanda aka tsokano mutum ba wai haka nan kawai ba.
9. Jin zargin cewa mutane suna nufin ka da sharri ne ko kuma suna yi da kai ne bayan a haqiqa ba haka ba ne tare da jin kaman gangan cikin ka ya fita daga jikin ka wato kaman kana kallon kan ka ne a bidiyo saboda wani abun tada hankali da ya faru ko kuma tunanin cewa za a rabu da kai (paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms). Wannan alamomin suna faruwa ne a cikin daqiqai kadai zuwa ‘yan awanni a wasu lokuta.

Idan Psychiatrist ya duba ka ya ga cewa kana dauke da alamomi aqalla 5 daga cikin 9, to sannan ne zai ce kana dauke da Borderline Personality Disorder. Wadannan alamomi 9 za ku ga cewa suna da kama sosai da alamomin Depression (Major Depression Disorder) wadanda na yi cikakken bayanin su a baya.

https://salihulukman.com/cikakken-bayani-a-kan-yanda-za-ka-gane-me-dauke-da-depression-mdd-ko-bipolar-disorder-bd/.

A sabili da hakane, mafi yawancin wadanda suke dauke da BPD to za a ga cewa suna dauke da Depression (MDD) kuma. BPD yana yawan haduwa da Dissociative Identity Disorder wato abinda muka fi sani da ciwon aljanu. A wani bincike ya nuna cewa 80 % na mutane masu BPD to suna da MDD. Sannan kuma BPD ya fi shafan mata a inda mata suka dauki kaso 75 % a wani bincike.

Domin samun qarin bayani a game da BPD, ka kalli bidiyon Dr. Ramani Durvasula mai suna, ‘How to Spot the 9 Traits of Borderline Personality Disorder’. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=to5qRLRSS7g

Sannan kuma zai yi matuqar kyau a ce ka hada da bidiyon da take yin bayani a game da karkasuwan BPD zuwa gidaje 4, ‘How to Spot the 4 Types of Borderline Personality Disorder’.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNi9bEeFOQU

Sannan kuma za mu ga cewa alamomin Bipolar Disorder ma suna da yanayi da na BPD amma kuma ba daya suke ba. Manyan bambance-bambance a tsakanin su sune kaman haka: (1) Saurin fusata da damuwa da mai BPD yake shiga yana faruwa ne bayan an tsokano shi, shi kuma mai Bipolar yana jin wadannan alamomin ne ba tare da an tsokane shi ba. (2) Halin da mutum ke shiga na fusata da damuwa yafi dadewa a wajen wanda yake da Bipolar a inda zai iya kasancewa a cikin wannan mummunan halin na tsawon kwanaki da yawa shi ko mai BPD bai cika wuce awanni ba zuwa ‘yan kwanaki kadan. Amma kuma kusani cewa mutum daya zai yiwu ya kasance yana dauke da BPD tare da Bipolar – tabdijan! Babban goro sai magogin qarfe. Allah Ya qara mana lafiya, amin. Haka zalika, a yawancin lokuta, za ka samu cewa mai dauke da BPD yana samun matsalan yin bacci sosai da daddare. Sai ya kasance a farke har zuwa 2 ko 4 na tsakan dare sannan ne zai iya yin bacci. Daga nan kuma tashin shi sai kusan 12 na rana ko ma 1 PM. A taqaice yawancin masu BPD za ka ga cewa suna dauke da Delayed Sleep-Phase Syndrome (DSPS) wanda yake wani bangare ne na Circadian Rhythm Sleep-Wake Disorder.

Domin samun qarin bayani a game da alaqan BPD da sauran Mental Disorders kaman Bipolar, ka kalli bidiyon Dr. Ramani Durvasula mai take, ‘Borderline Personality Disorder [The Co-Occurring Disorders You Should Know]’.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZM8KMLFQm8

Ka karanta wannan maqalan mai suna, ‘Borderline Personality Disoder’ domin samun qarin bayani a game BPD.

https://www.healthline.com/health/borderline-personality-disorder

Yanda BPD Yake Shafan Rayuwan Dalibi

Saboda yanda mai dauke da BPD yake da saurin canza ra’ayi ko manufa tare da daukaka abu (idealization) da kuma saurin durqusar da shi (devaluation) idan wani abu kadan ya bata mishi rai, za ka cewa dalibi mai dauke da BPD yana canje-canjen abin da yake karantawa wato course a jami’ah ko kuma makarantar da yake gaba da secondary wato Tertiary Institution. A yau sai ya ji cewa babu course din da yake so a duk duniya irin course din da yake yi, sai kuma bayan wani lokaci kawai ya ji kuma cewa son course din ta fice daga ransa wata kila saboda yana tunanin cewa abokan sa dalibai ko malamin sa baya son sa, yanzu kuma ya canza sheqa, ya koma qaunar wata course din dabam. Idan ya sami dama, za ka cewa zai yi ta canje-canje na course din da ya ke karantawa a makaranta. A wannan halin kuma, namiji ne ko mace, za su iya zama sun tsunduma a cikin yin zinace-zinace na dan wani qanqanin lokaci ko kuma su jima a cikin wannan yanayi wasu kuma su tsunduma kallon abubuwan batsa (pornography) tare istim’na’i (masturbation) a matsayin hanya na kauce ma zinace-zinace a sabili da rashin jin sha’awan yin wani aiki ko kuma jin kadaici. Irin wadannan abubuwan suna sa su ji dadi ne na dan wani lokaci. Wasu sukan tsunduma a harkan shaye-shaye wanda daga qarshe sai su kasa kammala karatun na su wanda suka fara a cikin sa’a da jajircewa da hazaqa. Sai ya kasance kodai a kore su ko kuma carryovers sun yi musu yawan da ba za su iya gama karatun ba saboda daina zuwa aji kwata-kwata ko kuma su ji karatun ya fita daga ran su kwata-kwata haka kawai bas ai da shaye-shaye ba. Haka zai iya faruwa da su a zangon qarshe na karatun su a inda za su sha da kyar, ko kuma su sami mafi munin sakamako tun da suka fara karatun saboda rashin sha’awan yin karatun. Da kyar na sha, ya fi da kyar aka kamani. Idan kuma har ya kasance yana yin samartaka da ‘yan mata, to zai kasance mai tsilla-tsilla ne, a yau yana tare da wance a gobe kuma ya canza sheqa ya koma wajen wata daban. Da budurwa ta yi mai wani abu dan kadan, sai ya fusata ya ce ma ya fasa yin soyayyan da ita sai ya qara gaba. Wani ma za a iya sa mai rana amma ya fasa ko kuma ranar daurin auren ya kusa amma kuma ya ce ya fasa. Haka zalika idan ma mace ce mai BPD, duk irin wadannan alamomin za su iya bayyana a tattare da ita.

A wani lokacin kuma, mutum zai dunga jin ciwon jiki ne ko kuma ciwon kai amma kuma duk gwajin asibiti da za a yi mishi sai akasa ganin wata cuta a cikin sakamakon gwajin. Irin wannan Somatic Symptom din yana iya sa dalibi ya kasa tabuka abin kirki a harkan karatun nasa saboda a kullum ba shi da lafiya. Somatic Symptom na daya daga cikin alamomin Depression kaman yanda na yi bayani a baya, haka kuma mai BPD zai iya jin wannan alaman.

Domin qarin bayani, ka karanta wannan maqalan mai suna, ‘Borderline Personality Disorder and College Success’.

https://www.verywellmind.com/borderline-personality-disorder-affects-college-success-425366

Ka kalli firan BBC Hausa wanda sukayi da wani dalibi a cikin shirin su mai suna Mahangar Zamani mai take, ‘Abin da ke jawo tsananin damuwa’. Wasu daga cikin alamonin BPD sun bayyana a tare da wannan dalibin.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEQynf-aILU&list=PLCfFSW2fG_AxvSRUQNsmMhBhJJBdlW9R0&index=20

Yanda BPD Yake Shafan Rayuwan Ma’aikaci

BPD na shafan rayuwan ma’aikaci ta bangare biyu.

(1) Da farko mutum sai ya ji cewa yana matuqar qaunan wannan aikin na shi har ya fahimci cewa maigidan shi na matuqar son shi amma da zaran wani abu ya faru kaman ace maigidan shi ya yi mai fada agame da abin da ya shafi aikin sai ya ji cewa maigidan nan nashi ya tsane shi kuma. Sai kuma gabadaya aikin ya fita daga ranshi, daga qarshe sai ya ajiye wannan aikin ya nemi wani daban. Haka za ka ga mai BPD yana ta canza aikin shi saboda yanda yake da saurin samun gamsuwa da abokan aikin shi ko kuma maigidan shi wanda daga baya kuma da zaran dan wani abu ya shiga tsakanin shi da su, to sai ya ajiye aikin kawai ya qara gaba. Haka kuma zai iya kasancewa mai yawan husuma da sauran ma’aikata ‘yan’uwan shi ko kuma da shugaban shi saboda abu ba abu ba sai ya dauki fushi daga nan kuma sai fada ta kaure.

(2) Daga cikin kashe-kashe na BPD, akwai wanda baya ajiye aikin shi, amma kuma saboda yanda yake da saurin cancanza manufan shi da abin da yake so da wanda ba ya so (likes and dislikes), to sai ka ga cewa ya kasa yin abinda zai sami cigaba a wajen aikin wato Promotion. Sai ya kasance na bayan shi duk sun taso sun wuce shi a matsayi. Wannan zai iya sa mishi damuwa sosai ganin yanda kowa yake cigaba shi kuma yana nan jiya-i-yau amma kuma babban matsalan shine ko da ace ya yunquro yana son yayi abinda zai kawo mai promotion kaman rubutun maqala ko yin bincike ga malaman jami’a (lecturers) sai ya ji gabadaya ba ya sha’awan yin haka, daga qarshe sai ya kasa tabuka komai duk da cewa mai qoqari ne da hazaqa. A irin wannan yanayi kuma, za ka cewa yana yawan canza ra’ayin shi a game da aikin da yasa a gaba. Zai iya zama ya taqarqare ya jajirce akan wani aikin daban wanda bai shafi aikin shi na office ba kwata-kwata, amma kuma ya kasa tabuka komai a game da aikin shi na office sai dan da kyar. A wani lokacin ma, sai mutane su yi zaton cewa an yi mai sammu ne a wajen aikin shi yasa ya kasa cigaba.

Domin qarin bayani, ka karanta wannan maqalan mai suna, Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Employment’.

https://www.verywellmind.com/example-of-bpd-at-work-425151

Da kuma, ‘Having a Career With Borderline Personality Disorder’.

https://www.verywellmind.com/bpd-and-career-choices-425401

Yanda BPD Yake Shafan Rayuwan Maigida

A gaskiya wannan kadai ya kamata ya zama maqale ne mai zaman kan shi saboda muhimmancin shi amma zan yi qoqarin taqaitawa iya iyawa na. Da farko akwai tsananin gajin haquri. Idan maigida mai dauke da BPD ya kira uwargida ta waya sai ya kasance bata samu daman daukan wayan ba a lokacin da ya kira saboda wani uziri (kila tana wajen aiki, ko bata ga kiran shi din ba ma, ko ta na da wani uzirin na daban), ko kuma ya tura mata da saqon karta kwana wato SMS ko kuma ta WhatsApp sai ta yi jinkirin bashi amsa saboda wani uziri karbabbiya, to daga nan sai maigidan kawai ya dauki zafi ya fusata ya yi tsammanin cewa bata girmama shi ne ko kuma tana so ne ta wulaqanta shi shi yasa ta qi daukan wayan na sa ko kuma ta qi amsa mai saqon shi nan da nan. Daga nan saboda tsananin fushi, wani maigidan sai kawai yace ya saki matan shi. Dama kuma, masu BPD suna da saurin yin saki  akan abin da bai taka kara ya karya ba saboda a wurin su matsala qarama za tayi ta ruruwa (rumination) tana qara girma a ransu har sai ta fi dutsen Uhudu girma, sannan sai su maida martani da kwatankwacin yanda abin ya girmama a cikin ransu (disproportionate reaction). To a ina za mu saka masu auri saki? Ba ma wannan ba kadai, idan maigida ya aiki uwargida ko ya sa ta yi mai wani abu sai ta tsaya yin wani abun koda kuwa yana da muhimmanci, yanzunnan sai maigida ya hassalo ya harzuqo ya nemi yin ma uwargida kaca-kaca saboda shi a na shi fassaran, uwargida ta raina shi ne ko kuma bata son bin umurnin shi saboda shi bai isa ba (judgmental and devaluation). Haka nan idan aka saka lokacin yin wani abu, kaman zuwa dauko uwargida daga anguwa ko kuma lokacin fita zuwa wani anguwa, duk yanda aka dan yi latti, to fa akwai matsala domin ta inda zai shiga ba ta nan zai fita ba wato zai ta yin luguden masifa ko kuma fushi mai tsanani. Zai kuma iya sa maigida yawan ficewa daga groups na Social Media kaman WhatsApp da zaran ya fassara cewa ana kyale shi ko kuma ana yin posts din da suke bata mishi rai. A wani lokacin kuma sai ya ji cewa ba ya jin amsa kiran waya, ko amsa saqon SMS ko WhatApp ko email ko kuma ya kashe wayan gabadaya har na wani lokaci ba dan wulaqanci ba ko wani abu sai dai kawai baya jin amsawa ne amma mutane sai su yi mai fassara da wulaqanci ne yasa haka.

Kaman yanda sabon bincike ya nuna cewa mai BPD zai yiwu yana da qarin yawan sinadarin qarfin mazakuntan namiji wato Testosterone. Saboda haka, wannan sinadarin zai qara ma maigida sha’awa sosai har ya fi na galibin sauran maza idan har yana da yawan Testosterone. Saboda haka uwargida sai ta miqe da gaske wajen biyan buqatan maigida a gado idan ba haka ba kuma to fa akwai matsala domin kuwa maigida zai iya tafiya Qaraye wato ya yi ma uwargida kishiya domin biyan buqatan shi. Wani maigidan ma saboda tsaban jin sha’awa, da zai iya tsayar da al’adan matan shi ya kasance ta daina yin al’ada kwata-kwata to da ya aikata hakan.

Amma fa bayan duk wadannan matsalolin na maigida mai dauke da BPD, za ku ga cewa mai dauke da BPD yana da tsananin nuna soyayya, da tausayi tare kula da uwargida yanda ya kamata. Kawai dai uwargida dole ta dinga tafiya ne kaman tana kan kwai domin kar ya fashe. Idan kuwa har maigida ya fusata, to idan a da yana kiran uwargida da sunaye masu dadi kaman My Life, My Sweetie, My Honey, to fa zai canza ya koma kiran ta da My Problem, My Trouble, ko kuma yace maman wane ko wance kawai ko kuma ma ya kira ta da gundarin sunan ta ko kuma ya hana lamban ta daga shigowa wayan shi (blocking). Mai BPD yana da matuqar taimako. Zai iya tsayar da duk wani harkoki na shi domin ya ga cewa ya taimaka ma wanda ya ke da buqata tun ma ba idan akan abinda yake da matuqar ra’ayi a kai ba ne. Zai iya tsayawa kai da fata wajen ganin ya warware ma mutum matsalan da ke damun shi wanda kuma a sanadiyyar haka, sai ya iya samun kan shi a halin damuwa saboda a wani lokacin kuma, a wajen bada taimakon sai a bata mishi rai sai kuma ya shiga halin fushi. Miji mai BPD baya son qorafi ko naci akan qanqanan abubuwa saboda yanzunnan zai iya harzuqa, kuma harzuqan shi ba abin so bane saboda Allah kadai Ya san inda zai tsaya idan har ya hau sama. A taqaice dai duk macen da za ta zauna da mai BPD to fa sai ta kai zuciya nesa, sannan ta kiyaye shi da kyau idan ba haka ba kuwa to wallahi komai na iya faruwa saboda fushin mai BPD ba shi da linzami. Daya daga babban matsalan BPD shine wanda yake dauke da shi yana ganin cewa shi lafiyan shi qalau, a koda yaushe sai ya dunga dora laifin ga sauran mutane amma da wuya zai ga laifin shi (projection and lack of insight). A dalilin haka ne sai matsalolin su yi ta taruwa suna habbakuwa har sai sanda Allah zai kawo dauki a gane abin da yake damun shi. Idan ba haka kuwa, to akwai kwamacala. BPD na daya daga cikin Mental Disorders wadanda ake iya samun nasaran shawo kansu sosai idan aka je asibiti. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) shine hanyar magance BPD.

Yanda BPD Yake Shafan Rayuwan Uwargida

Tabdijan! A ce uwargida ne ke dauke da BPD, ai matsala ta samu babba. Saboda mafi yawancin yanda maigida mai BPD ya ke yi to fa haka ita ma uwargida za ta kasance. Kaman yanda muka sani cewa a musulunce, maigida ne jagoran gida wato shine shugaban gida. Ya za ka ji a matsayin ka na maigida idan uwargida ta bude maka wuta domin ta kira ka ba ka dauka ba saboda wani uziri ko kuma ta turo maka da saqo baka bata amsa ba nan take? Wannan babban matsala ne a gaskiya a zamantakewan aure, saboda maigida shi zai ga cewa uwargida ta raina shi ne kawai shi yasa take saurin daukan fushi ko bude mai wuta akan abin da bai taka kara ya karya ba wanda hakan na iya kawo husuma mai tsanani a tsakanin maigida da uwargida. A wasu lokutan, duk yanda uwargida ta so ta danne bala’in fushin da ke cinta a zuciya sai ta kasa. Sai ta saki bala’in buhu-buhu sannan sannan za ta iya komawa ta numfasa. A irin wannan halin, dole maigida shi kuma ya yi ta haquri da halayyar uwargida saboda a irin wannan yanayin za ka ga cewa kusan babu abin da zai yi ne wanda zai sa uwargida ta daina bude mai wuta sai dai idan bata ji cewa ana kyale ta ba ko kuma ba a kula da ita ko kuma ma duk wani abun da zata riya ta sauwara shi a cikin kwakwalwanta. Su ma mata masu BPD an gano cewa suna iya kasancewa dauke da sinadarin Testosterone mai yawan da ya dora akan yanda aka saba, wannan ke nuni da cewa suma za su iya zama masu sha’awan da yafi na daidaikun sauran mata. Wani binciken ma ya alaqanta PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Sydrome) da BPD a inda ake ganin cewa duk macen da aka gano cewa tana da PCOS, to ya kamata a duba ta a gani ko ta na dauke da BPD kuma. Shi dai PCOS gamayyan wasu alamomi ne wadanda suke shafan mata har su kai ga hana su haihuwa tare da tsawaita musu yanda al’adan ke zuwa wato a madadin wata daya sai su kai har kwanaki 35 koma fiye da haka.

Domin qarin bayani, ka kalli bidiyon Dr. Daniel Fox (Professor ne na Clinical Psychology a America), wanda ya ke daya daga cikin manyan masana a duniya a abinda ya shafi BPD. ‘Do You Have PCOS? Here’s What You Need to Know About PCOS & BPD’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNftfsSXm1M&list=LL&index=1

Kamar yanda maigida mai dauke da BPD yake da saurin yin saki ko kuma tunanin yin saki ko kuma yunqurin yin saki, to haka ma uwargida mai BPD take. Za ka ga cewa tana da saurin yin yaji ko kuma ta ce ma maigida ya sake ta ko kuma barazanan barin gidan kwata-kwata da zaran wani abu dan kadan ya shiga a tsakanin ta da maigida. A irin haka, za ta iya kasancewa mai aure-aure saboda saurin daukan fushi da yanke hukunci.

Shin zai yiwu maigida da uwargida ya kasance dukkan su suna dauke da BPD? Irin wannan hadin yana iya faruwa, amma dai ba sai na fadi cewa za a yi ta dauki ba dadi ne a kullum, za a yi ta jin kan su sannan kuma za a yi ta saki ana yin kome idan an huce.

Ka kalli wannan bidiyon wanda na yi shi akan wannan irin hadin gambizan domin ka qaru, ‘ DLP Episode 5: Understanding personality psychology for better interpersonal relationships’. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pl4DFSzByow

Shin wanda yake da ciwon tsananin fushi irin na BPD za a zartar da sakin shi kuwa idan akayi la’akari da cewa da shi da wanda hankalin shi ya gushe bambancin su kadan ne? Amsa wannan tambaya, sai manyan malamai wadanda suke da fahimta sosai akan Mental Disorders.

Menene Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD)

Wannan wani yanayi ne da mutum kaman a ce namiji zai ji soyayyan wani daban kaman a ce mace amma kuma sai ya kasance ita kadai ce ya ke matuqar qauna a zuciyan shi har ma son ya kai ga cewa yana jujjuyata kaman abin da ya mallaka. Ga manyan alamomin shi.

1. Matsanancin qaunar mutum daya.
2. Matuqar begen mutumin a koda yaushe.
3. Ganin dacewan kare wanda ka ke so da tsare shi.
4. Jin bala’in kishi akan shi.
5. Jin cewa kai ba komi ba ne (low self-esteem).
6. Tura saqonni kala-kala ta SMS, emails ko yawan kiran wanda suke so.
7. Son a rarrashi mutum a koda yaushe.
8. Wuyan yin abokai ko sada zumunci da sauran ‘yan’uwa saboda tsabagen maida hankali a wajen mutum daya.
9. Bibiya da sa ido akan duk abubuwan da mutumin ya ke yi.
10. Yunqurin juya mutum akan inda zai je da kuma abubuwan da zai iya yi.

Obsessive Love Disoder (OLD) ba yana tsaye ne da qafafun shi ba, yana bibiyan wasu Mental Disorders ne kaman BPD, OCD, Disinhibited Social Engagement Disorder (DSED), Obsessional Jealousy, da dai sauran su. Idan muka kalli alamomin BPD da na OLD za mu ga cewa, lallai mai BPD zai yi saurin daukan alamomin OLD saboda dama shi yana tsoron rabuwa kuma yana son yin kane-kane a al’amura. Masu dauke da OLD za ka ga suna yawan yin leken asiri a wayan mijin ta. Sai ta karanto ma kanta abin da zai iya hana ta sukuni har muddin ranta, ko kuma idan miji ya gano, ayi ta tashin hankali. Idan akayi rashin sa’a cewa shi ma mijin yana dauke da BPD, to zai iya sakin ta saboda leken asirin wayan shi kadai, kunga anan kenan, allura ta tono garma. A wani lokutan kuma sai matan ta zama tana shisshige mishi duk inda zai je sai da ita (office ko wajen ziyaran abokan shi ko ‘yan’uwan shi), yana daga qafa zata mayar a sawun sa. Idan kuma tana da kishiya, to fa bala’in kishin kuma zai kasance irin wanda baka taba gani bane. Sannan kuma ga shi za ta dunga yunqurin juya shi yanda take so idan ta sami dama. Mace mai OLD tare da BPD za ta iya cewa za ta kashe mijin ta ko kishiyan ta ko kuma ta yi yunqurin kashen sun ko kuma taci nasaran aika su barzagu. Kun ga aiki ya lalace kenan. Saboda da haka, idan matan ka tana da alamomin OLD tare da BPD, to wallahi sai ka kula da kyau, idan ba haka ba kuwa za ka iya wayin gari a lahira. Za mu iya juye yawancin bayanan ga maigida shima idan shi ne yake dauke da OLD. Mene ku ke tsammani idan aka ce maigida tare da matan sa duka biyun a ce kowannen su na dauke da BPD tare da OLD? Na bar muku wannan a matsayin wasa kwakwalwa. Kuma irin wannan hadin mai yiwuwa ne.

Domin qarin bayani a game da OLD, ka saurari wannan bidiyon mai suna, ‘What Is Obsessive Love Disorder?’.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmzvq5F_o-g&list=WL&index=13

Sannan kuma za ka iya hadawa da wannan maqalan, ‘What Is Obsessive Love Disorder?’.

https://www.healthline.com/health/obsessive-love-disorder

Sai mun hadu a kashi na gaba mai taken:

Yanda Depression (MDD) da Bala’in Kishi (OLD) Suke Haduwan Ma Mata Idan Za A Yi Musu Kishiya

Salihu Lukman, Assistant Professor ne na Civil Engineering a University of Hafr Al Batin, Saudi Arabia

 

Tagged : bipolar / borderline / bpd / depression / mdd / mental disorder / mental health / old / pmdd